Friday, January 28, 2011

Posted by Erin Posted on 1:58 PM | No comments

Becoming a Conquerer (slowly)


Do you remember these t-shirts? If not, it's becuase you are younger than me. But, trust me. They were very cool. Anyways...

The other day I was having a conversation with myself...you do it too. Don't act like you don't. I don't really remember what "we" were discussing, but I do remember interrupting myself and saying, "No Fear." And then I immediately had a mental image of junior high me in my No Fear shirt. (Mine was not quite so creepy...it had something to do with basketball on it). And then "we" laughed about that silly trend for a minute before getting back to why on earth that phrase came up in conversation.

It doesn't take a lion trainer to figure it out (I get tired of the phrase "it doesn't take a genious or rocket scientist"). "No Fear" came up because I do fear. Often. I am terrified. I am terrified that my circumstances won't change. That I don't have what it takes to reach my goals. That people won't think my best amounts to much at all. That I. Will. Fail. Or if I succeed that the success will be a let down.

Fear is the reason I never finish anyth...

(Just kidding)


Do you know what fear kept people from in scripture?

In Deuteronomy 1 we see that it kept an entire generation from seeing the land that the Lord had promised His people. They trembled in fear and said, "The people are stronger and taller than we are; the cities are large, with walls up to the sky." And even though Moses reminded them ,“Do not be terrified; do not be afraid of them. 30 The LORD your God, who is going before you, will fight for you, as he did for you in Egypt, before your very eyes, 31 and in the wilderness. There you saw how the LORD your God carried you, as a father carries his son, all the way you went until you reached this place.” But they let fear win. They stopped moving forward because their fear was bigger than their faith. God was too little in their eyes to do what He promised. To lead them in victory.

Sarah told her husband Abraham to sleep with another woman. Sarah was afraid that God was not big enough to keep his promise to give them a child so she made her own way and in doing so gave up the peace in her household. And she brought havoc into another woman's life. And the world is still feeling the effects of her decision.

Peter was afraid too. His fear looked like shame. But what is shame if it isn't fear that we cannot be loved or useful to Christ after the things we have done? In Peter's fear, he went back to the familiar. He ignored that Jesus had renamed him "The Rock" and promised that the church would be built through him. He gave up the potential God himself had spoken over him and Peter returned to the familiar...fishing. Not for men, but for fish. He went back to casting his nets day after day never knowing whether it would be a good day or a bad day.

Isn't that just ridiculous? I mean, when you read those stories, it is so clear that these people were being dumb! You gave up what God had PROMISED because you were afraid? Of what? So what if the people are big? So what if it is taking longer that you thought? So WHAT if you made a fool out of yourself and made one of the worst mistakes of your life? God has already told you he is giving this future to you. Hello!

But I do the same thing. I mean, God has not told me I will be a sucessful musician or that I will ever get to go back to India or that I will ever be married. But, He has promised to take care of me, to lead me in victory, to direct my steps, to love me, to use me, to mold me. He has promised the best for me. So, why would I let fear keep me from moving forward?

Here is one immediate example. I'm playing a show next month and I am terrified. Seriously. Terrified. So many uncertainties. I'm not cute enough...I don't look like a musician (what does that even mean?). None of those people know me or my music, why would they come? What if I forget my words? What if no one comes? What if a ton of people come? What if What if What if?????

STOP!

Stop what ifing. ok..So WHAT if those things happen? Isn't God big enough to handle that night? Do I really think that one of those things could throw His entire plan off course sending me into a tailspin till I die sad and alone at the age of 93? Dumb.

Of course He is big enough. He is bigger and stronger than all my mistakes, then anyone elses thoughts towards me, than any walls and oceans and armies that threaten to keep me from the things God has in store for me.

So, No Fear. I will choose, every second of every day. I will decide over and over and over again to not be afraid. To not let fear keep me from receiving the fulfillments of all His promises towards me. I will choose to remember that my God is big enough, strong enough, and He loves me more than enough to lead me in victory.

I love the speech that Samuel gives the people in 1 Samuel 12.
Do not be afraid. You have done all this evil; yet do not turn away from the LORD, but serve the LORD with all your heart. Do not turn away after useless idols. They can do you no good, nor can they rescue you, because they are useless. For the sake of his great name the LORD will not reject his people, because the LORD was pleased to make you his own. As for me, far be it from me that I should sin against the LORD by failing to pray for you. And I will teach you the way that is good and right. But be sure to fear the LORD and serve him faithfully with all your heart; consider what great things he has done for you. Yet if you persist in doing evil, both you and your king will perish.”

Erin, do not be afraid. Yes, you have made some stupid decisions, but the Lord called you because He wanted to. Fear Him. Love Him. Look at all He has already done for you and keep moving forward.

Happy Journey!
Erin
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