Becoming a DIYer

Check me out. I don't buy things from the store that I can make myself. Know why? Because I'm a DIYer. That's right. Do it yourself.

I'm not normally. I tend to lean naturally toward, spend the extra money over the extra time, but I'm tired of that. And I want to have things around me that reflect MY creativity and not World Market's or Anthropologie...which for the record, I have never actually purchase any decor from wither store, but you get the idea.

So, I just finished my first DIY project. I started it over a month ago and then got stuck becuase I wasn't sure how to finish it. But thanks to my friend, Laurie, we brainstormed and came up with a solution. Now, there is not a half-finished project mocking me from the corner of the room. Want to see what I made? Ok.

BEFORE:

$2 frame from MAM resale. (I had painted it before I thought to take a picture. )
Chalkboard paint, sheet metal, and various tools from Home Depot.


AFTER:

A magnetic chalkboard!!!

Sure, it has a couple of flaws, but it's something that I started and finished. It's something that I put time into and that with minimal help, I figured out how to do. I love it. Now I just need to go buy some magnets and chalk.

Happy Journey!
Erin

Becoming Commited

Last Friday, Donald Miller wrote a post titled "Commit to the Work, Not the Goals". I love his short posts. They are so full of wisdom...and common sense.

Truthfully, some of the goals on my 30x30 list will never get done if it's just a goal. I need to break them down into manageable steps. And I need to commit to the steps.

Having something published? I need to write every week. And I need to do some research about avenues for publishing.

Run 6 miles? Well, hello...I need to start by running a little at least 3 times a week.

Memorize 1 John? I need to start by memorizing 1 John 1:1. And then 1:2, 1:3, 1:4...You get the idea.

Goals look great in a list. But it is so easy to feel warm and fuzzy about a list and never actually take steps to getting those things done.

Becoming a Stepper

I will occassionally post updates to let you all know how these goals are coming along. The bold italicized goals are ones I have taken steps toward accomplishing. It may be a tiny step but it is a step. The ones that are crossed off are completed. Woohoo! And the one with question marks is waiting to be decided. Maybe it's something that God has in mind that I won't know until it happens. Or maybe it will be my unspoken goal that I,in reality, have no control over. We shall see. But for now, here is the progress report.


Erin's Fantabulous 30 things to do before 30...

1. Play 2 shows beyond the Texas border
2. Raise a certain amount of money for As Our Own 3. Lose a certain amount of weight
4. Run 6 miles at once...sounds silly but I am not a runner. At all.
5. Have something published
6. Learn to beatbox...seriously.
7. Enroll in grad school
8. Memorize 1 John
9. Refinish my dresser
10. Reupholster the chair
11. Pay off my Album loan
12. Start working on an EP
13. Cowrite 3 songs
14. Pay off debt...oh so close.
15. Visit Seth and Courtney.
16. Take a serious, lengthy retreat alone.
17. Go to an event out of the norm.
18. Establish a list of 30 worship songs I can pull out of my head whenever.
19. Establish a list of 15 cover songs.
20. Watch The Matrix.
21. Read every book I already own.
22. Write 4 more songs for the Scripture to Music Collective.
23. Visit Nika and Amy
24. Learn a second creative skill
25. Create a file system and use it.
26. Send a snail mail letter to at least one person every week for 3 months straight.
27. Start learning Hindi.
28. Read through the Bible chronologically in a year
29. Get certified in Zumba.
30.???????

Happy Journey!
Erin

Becoming a Piece of Work

Get to Work Monday...I had no idea what to write about today. Maybe I could write about how I'm reading a book that I have owned for a year and never read. Or how I'm going to watch The Matrix this weekend. Or how I spent 3 hours playing guitar yesterday and 20 minutes beatboxing (read: spitting and sounding ridiculous as I attempt to learn to beatbox). I could write about all those things but I just didn't have much to say about them. And so, it is nearly 11:30pm and I am just now posting.

Things are about to get really honest and really messy. So, turn back now or enter with grace please.

See, my heart is heavy. There has been a lot happening in my world lately and through it, God is bringing to light a thousand things in me that I'd rather not deal with. First it was my entitlement issues. I am the most "oldest brother" child of God ever. I compare my story to others constantly. And most of the time it leads to a place of, "I have done all I know to do to walk with you since I was 12 years old, and really, even before then. Sure I've made mistakes but I've never left. Even when I wanted to never see you again, I sucked it up, got over it, and kept serving you. So why does that person who has only been living for you for 3 years, who before those 3 years was spitting in your face...or that person over there who used to live for you but ran from you, took what you gave and spent it on themselves, and now is back...why are you blessing their ministries, giving them dream ministry jobs, fulfilling their desires? What has living for you ever gotten me? A job where I enter data all day? A life of singleness, not even a freaking date? All i have ever wanted are good things: a job where I can be who you created me to be and a husband to walk beside. What have I done to make you withhold things from me and what can I do so that you will love me the way you love those people?"

Sick, huh? It is so hard to admit that, even to myself. That attitude has the stench of death all over it. And all I am actually entitled to is death. God owes me nothing. The only reason I get to be a part of what He is doing, even in a part I don't enjoy like data entry, is because of His grace. The only reason I got to go to India? Grace. The only reason I have a guitar to play or for that matter fingers to play it with? Grace. A house? Grace. A voice to speak? Grace. He owes me nothing. No. Thing. And so I am learning. Learning how to be honest about my desires without turning them into demands. I am learning to weep over my pride. I don't think I have ever been so broken over my sin. God has been humbling me so much. It's good and it's hard and it's heartbreaking.

And now, He is bring another issue to light. And that is my self-protective tendencies. See, I am an idealist. What I mean by that is that I see in scripture how things should be and I think that they should actually be that way. But, the truth is people are broken and so things are not as they should be. But, I have a hard time accepting that. So, instead of moving toward the brokenness with grace and faith that god is bigger than it, I put up a wall and come up with a reason why I can't walk that direction at all. That is probably very convoluted but I just don't have the freedom to go into detail on this one. This is one for me and the Lord and some sweet girlfriends that will help me as I walk through the Lord undoing these things in me.

So, the Lord is getting to work on me. And my work in it is to believe. Believe that He does love me just as much as He loves the next guy. Believe that He does have plans to use me by His grace. Believe that He isn't withholding things from me as a punishment. Believe that He has already given me everything. That He can give me new vision to see correctly the gap between how things are and how they should be. That He is bigger than the gap. And that, by His hand, things really can be closer to what they should be than I have seen them be before.

And when I said I'd rather not deal with these things, what I meant was that I want to just be better. Kind of like how none of us want to exercise, we just want to be skinny. But it doesn't work that way. I won't wake up tomorrow and be over feeling entitled and over comparing my relationship with God to others. I won't suddenly be ok with risking my heart on things that could be but might not be what they should be. Tonight, Tammie Head said the sweetest deliverance happens slowly. It takes time. But when that last step out of bondage comes, it will be so sweet.

I hope some of this resonates with you. I hope that you are seeing God move toward you in your brokenness. He is good to not allow us to continue on in our pride and our false securities. Brothers and sisters, we are loved. Believe.

Happy Journey!
Erin

Becoming a Goal-getter

I have a friend who used to be my boss who I would have sworn up and down to you loves setting goals. Turns out she doesn't. She just was trying to help me and the other interns learn to set goals. Ha!

Anyways, I don't usually follow through on goals so I generally just avoid setting them. It keeps me from experiencing guilt when I don't follow through...which I don't. Like ever. Don't judge. But, in the core of who I am, I believe goals are good. I think we should hold them loosely as God might just have something else in mind, but still, I believe goal setting is good. And so I have set some. Here is my 30 before 30 goal list...minus #30 because I'm waiting on your brilliant ideas. (Also, some of them will be a little vague here because I don't think I need to share the specifics with the world, but they are specific in actuality.)

Erin's Fantabulous 30 things to do before 30...

1. Play 2 shows beyond the Texas border
2. Raise a certain amount of money for As Our Own
3. Lose a certain amount of weight
4. Run 6 miles at once...sounds silly but I am not a runner. At all.
5. Have something published
6. Learn to beatbox...seriously.
7. Enroll in grad school
8. Memorize 1 John
9. Refinish my dresser
10. Reupholster the chair
11. Pay off my Album loan
12. Start working on an EP
13. Cowrite 3 songs
14. Pay off debt...oh so close.
15. Visit Seth and Courtney.
16. Take a serious, lengthy retreat alone.
17. Go to an event out of the norm.
18. Establish a list of 30 worship songs I can pull out of my head whenever.
19. Establish a list of 15 cover songs.
20. Watch The Matrix.
21. Read every book I already own.
22. Write 4 more songs for the Scripture to Music Collective.
23. Visit Nika and Amy
24. Learn a second creative skill
25. Create a file system and use it.
26. Send a snail mail letter to at least one person every week for 3 months straight.
27. Start learning Hindi.
28. Read through the Bible chronologically in a year
29. Get certified in Zumba.
30.???????

Some of these will be easy: watch the Matrix for example. No problem. But many will be hard. Some will be hard because they will require time...consistent time. Some will be hard because they will cause me to push through fears and insecurities. And some will be hard because I have absolutely no idea how it could be possible for me to do them. But that's the point. I have a tendency to quit when things get hard. If people are relying on me to get something done, it will get done, but as soon as the commitment to others ends, I will never do that thing again. I could tell you a thousand stories about things I gave up because I encountered opposition. In many cases, I came out looking like I was sure of myself, but looks can be deceiving. Mosty, I was sure that I was hurt and that I wouldn't let myself be hurt like that again. So I picked up my bags and left that figurative town.

But I need to be reminded that opposition isn't a wall. It's an opportunity. I need to finish things that I can't finish. You with me? Many of the things on my list, I will only be able to do if God shows up. I need to be reminded that, yes, I am in fact inadequate, but my Jesus is all-sufficient. So, I may get angry when I am trying to learn Hindi and nothing is making sense. But my God knows everything. The Holy Spirit can understand and He can be my teacher. He can get a hold of my head and put Hindi in it. My head and Hindi belong to Him anyways, right?

So there it is. A beautiful, crazy, daunting list of 29... to be 30 things for me to work on for the next 2.5 years. And I suspect that working at these will lead to blessings that at this point would seem unrelated to re-upholtering a chair.

Becoming a New Year (2011)

Happy New Year! It is hard to believe another year has gone by (and harder to believe that I am enough of an old lady to say that sort of thing).

I want to welcome you to my new blog. Ok, ok. It's the same blog as before, but I am re-formatting. I was just beginning to feel that ToB needs a bit more structure. It could be because I have only posted 40 times in the last three years. So, let me explain what you will see on this here little blog.

Mondays will hence forth be known as "Get to Work Mondays". I will be writing about goals, hopes, and dreams. I will share with you what I am doing to make those hopes realities. I will share about what God is doing as well. After all, the only reason I can take a breath is because He allows it and gives it. And of course, there will be some frustrations, some confusion, and some plain ol' "What was I thinking?" moments. I will do my best to offer some practical advice as I learn it but you should also expect the element of transparency that you have seen from ToB in the past.

Tuesdays will be really fun. I like to refer to them now as "Tickle My Fancy Tuesdays". Pretty things, exciting places, super-riffic blogs... anything and everything that stirs my creative heart will be shared here.

I may be looking most forward to Wednesdays..."World-Changer Wednesdays". There are people and organizations that are literally changing the world. As Our Own and Fallen Whistles and Compassion and so many others that are joining in God's fight for the least of these. I am excited to seek out these organizations, to find out their hearts, and to share them with you. I know you want to change the world as I do and sometimes we just need help finding the place where we can best serve. Get ready to hear great stories of what God is up to around the world.

Thursdays I will take a break but Fridays we will be back with "Participation Counts". There will be pictures, polls, conversations... any manner of things. And I fully expect you to participate. You will be graded, not on your answer but on IF you answer. Not really... your GPS..errrr...GPA will not affect your ability to find a job. But, I do want this to be a community. Right now we are small. Perhaps we will grow or perhaps not. But whether it is a community of 5 or 50, let's be a community. Let's laugh with, dream with, encourage, and challenge one another...

On the weekends, you will see "Soundtrack of Life". I will share with you the music that is rocking my world at the moment. I love discovering new music... new to me. Songs really do mark seasons of my life. Music is a miraculous thing that can completely change the direction of a day. Sometimes you will see music that stirs the eternal side of you and sometimes you will see music that simply wants to make you dance or roll the windows down (I tend to think it all stirs the eternal but I suppose that is up for debate).


There you have it. I cannot guarantee that I will get each day's post done each week, but I will try. This blog needs more structure and I do as well. I hope you will join me in discovering new becomings. I am excited about what is ahead.