Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Posted by Erin Posted on 4:38 PM | No comments

Becoming Sure

I am sitting in the coffee shop/lobby of Watermark Community Church, having just interviewed across town with a ministry-focused company for a sales position. The interview, as most have been, was a great experience. It was full of good conversation and lacking awkwardness...two very important things in interviewing. However, keeping in step with most of the other interviews, at least the ones that have been less relational and more data based, the interviewer asked pointed questions about whether or not I was excited about the position. He wanted to know why I was applying for sales. I explained why I was capable of sales. But through the rest of the conversation, I admitted, in repsonse to his questions, that doing sales joyfully would be a challenge. That while I think the purpose of their ministry is fabulous, that particular role would not be a good fit for me long term. He kindly encouraged me to keep looking for a job that I wanted (and didn't just need). He explained that, while, I could be successful at the position, he could tell I would be a fish out of water because there is no creativity involved. And he rightly, sent me on my way without a job.

And you know, I'm ok with that. Surprisingly, it didn't feel a thing like rejection. On the contary, it felt much like reassurance. There is something I was made to do and there is a lot more that I was not made to do and to settle into the not's would be suicide. So while I still would very much like to have a job (very soon), I am also ok with waiting for one that Lord can use me in best. I know he can use me anywhere. But I want to be where he can make the most of the things he has created in me. Who knows where or when that will be. Maybe tomorrow at my interview with the college pastor. Maybe not. Maybe not for 7 more months. But I know he is moving things so that he can move me into a certain place. He is moving me (in what seems like aimless fashion) right now so that I do not settle for the not's. As unemploymet becomes increasingly boring, I am becoming increasingly sure of where I am not supposed to be.

Sunday, September 9, 2007

Posted by Erin Posted on 9:23 PM | 2 comments

Becoming the Body

Well, it has been a few weeks since the first post and my circumstances have not changed. However, my heart is changing a little bit every day. I am learning to trust that today, the Lord will provide. I am learning to live out letting my anxieties be made known and not worrying about tomorrow. Tomorrow will be whatever tomorrow will be, but today I need a meal and fellowship and a roof and the Lord has provided those things. Tomorrow we can deal with what i need for tomorrow.

It is the means of the Lord's provision that is really teaching me. As I said before, having to rely on others smashes one's pride. But having to rely on others is how the Body of Christ works. The church in acts owned nothing as individuals. Everything they owned blonged also to the rest of the Body. I have seen such beautiful examples of that during this season. As friends have opened their homes to me, sharing their groceries, couches, space...I have seen the Body of Christ in action. It is amazing. It is so encouraging and it makes me excited to be able to love others and share the little I do have with those who need it. Right now, I may only be able to offer time, of which I seem to have a superfilous amount, but I can give that away. It's awesome.