Thursday, October 3, 2013

Posted by Erin Posted on 12:01 AM | 1 comment

Here I Raise My Ebenezer

Dear Future Erin,

I am writing to you so that you remember.

A month ago you started a new job. It is the job you have prayed for since you were a teenager. It is the job that you looked for when you graduated college. It is the job God said no to for years. And now, you have been doing this job for 32 days. You are tired. The long drives are hard and students are busy and you are not 22 anymore. But the fatigue does nothing to steal from the joy. You spend your days loving the Church. You spend your days on behalf of students. You spend your days living out your calling. And it is magnificent.

There are hard conversations and insecurities. Theirs and yours. There are misunderstandings and flesh-directed decisions. Theirs and yours. But there are also celebrations, hugs, prayers. There are dreams. Theirs and yours. There is laughter and life. Cherish these. All of these. The heavy as well as the light moments. Love them. Remember them.

Tonight you taught on Romans 10:13-21. Asking, why did Israel miss Jesus? And it was a heavy text, but a sweet one as well. There were moments of intensity sprinkled together with moments of silliness. You were nervous. High schoolers who have been raised in church are a much different audience than 3rd graders who have not. It has been years since you have taught this crowd. But The Holy Spirit is faithful. He spoke through you. He communicated clearly the message -- Don't miss Christ because you want Him to look a certain way. Don't cut Him off because He won't bless your striving. He is holding out His hands to you, saying, "Come. I have life for you. Come to me. Stop seeking wholeness in all those other 'and's'. It is not Jesus AND ______ that brings life. It is Jesus. Only. Come find Him."

There is something so weighty and so sweet about opening the Word with a room full of hearts. It is a sweet taste when The Spirit uses the gifts and personality He designed in you to communicate Truth to a room full of souls. Don't forget. Don't forget that He used you. That you called out for wisdom and direction and He came through. Don't forget the words spoken to you. "Your lesson reassured me." "I needed that." "Thank you."

The hard days of this job will come, just like they do in any job. The days will come when you feel safe in auto-pilot and are tempted to stop relying on the power of Christ that dwells in you. Don't let the hard days steal your joy. Remember this day. This month. Don't let the lie of self-sufficiency rob you of the joy that comes in relying on the all-sufficient God to do the work He has given you to do. Remember this day. This month.

Here I raise my Ebenezer. Hither by they help I've come.

Sealed in Christ,


May said...

Sounds like you and I made opposite moves this fall. Having just left my job with children at my church after ten years, I am back in a public school. I felt an urging that this is where I needed to be.
I hope your faith is nurtured in your new place.