Thursday, March 24, 2011

Posted by Erin Posted on 11:58 AM | 1 comment

Chosen Series: An Apology

Sweet patient blog-family, I owe you an apology. I know I have stalled far too long in writing the next part of the Choose Me series. I am still excited about it, actually maybe more so than I was before. But I want to share with you what has halted me in my writing.

First of all, the sheer magnitude of taking on human nature and examining it under the scrutiny of Truth. I am not an expert. I am not a scholar. I am a woman. A little girl in still so many ways. To look at scripture and try to first interpret it correctly and then teach it to others is a big deal and can only be done in The Spirit. I have stalled because I do not want to speak falsely.

Secondly, I am learning to be a writer. I love writing and I have wanted to write this for a long time, but there is so much to it. The structure can be very tricky. Transistions and such. I want to communicate clearly. And that can be challenging.

And mostly, since beginning this series, it has become extremely clear that this "Choose me" cry is still rooted deeply in me. I knew that it was still lingering, but I've discovered that "lingering" is the completely wrong word. Lingering implies that it is mostly gone and just the scent or the reminder of it remains. Um, no. Festering might be a more appropriate word. It sits quietly sometimes but it is not dormant at all. So, I have been struggling with how I can possibly write about something when it still very much has it's claws in my heart. I have learned an ocean's worth about my heart's cry and God's kind Truth about His love for me, but an ocean is only a drop in the universe of that Truth.

So, I will, very shortly, post about Peter and his doubts. And as I continue this series, please know that I don't have it figured out. That this is a conversation, the purpose of which is to cause our thoughts and our hearts to turn to the Holy Spirit in desperation for understanding that only He can give. That said, I hope you will continue on this road with me. Journeys through the heart are always more enjoyable with company.

Happy Journey!


Melanie said...

I appreciate and embrace your authenticity. Please know that we only expect you, nothing more and nothing less. Blessings and prayers to you as the Lord works ever so grandly in your life.