Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Posted by Erin Posted on 4:54 PM | 1 comment

Becoming Disheartened

One of the points of Sunday's sermon was when you can't see clearly what to do, take the next logical step of faith.

What the heck does that mean? I know that there is some way that logic and faith meet, but I cannot figure it out. It must be due to some incorrect definition of one or the other or both.

Logical: natural or sensible given the circumstances

I know that isn't the only definition of logical, but it is the one that I associate with the word most often. Logic implies sensibility. Even in studying proofs in logic class in college, there were rules, steps...this leads to this. So how do you make a logical step of faith. I look at scripture and see that faith is crazy. It doesn't seem logical. Abraham let Lot take the best land...that's not logical, that's faith. Isaiah walked around naked for THREE years...certainly not logical. Can you imagine? That required abandoning logic and trusting the God was going to use the craziness. Even Christ wasn't logical. He never reasoned his way through life. He didn't ever say, "Peter, don't be silly, you can't walk on water. Only God can." or "Wait. I don't have to die on the cross, I'm God. I'm sinless." The things He did and Abraham and Isaiah and David and on and on...the things they did were actions of faith not logic. Right? Please help me understand if I missing something.

Logically, I need a job. Logically, I will have to settle for the right now job instead of the right job. So, I pick myself up by the bootstraps and decide to apply for jobs in this field or that field. I work through the logistics of it. I even pray through it...most of the time without a clear response, just silence. And as soon as I pull up the application to begin the process of the logical step, all I can do is cry because I feel like I am not acting in faith. I feel like I am saying to God, "Well you aren't taking care of it so I have to do something! What else am I suppose to do! I know I wasn't made for this job but life requires income which requires a job which requires going out and getting a job." So I don't fill out the application because I can't fit it in with faith.

Needless to say, I am finding myself quite discouraged. I know truth. I know He keeps promises. I know that i am not waiting for nothing. I know this season has a purpose and it is good. But the vision doesn't seem quite as clear when you are looking through tear-filled eyes. things get blurry and hope gets watered-down.

And then of course you open your home page and something like this pops up:

"For the vision is yet for the appointed time; It hastens toward the goal and it will not fail. Though it tarries, wait for it; For it will certainly come, it will not delay."
Habakkuk 2:3

God, heal my unbelief. Teach me how faith and logic coincide. I want to understand. I want to know you more.


Marcus said...

Did you happen to read the book "The Call" that Charla gave us? It might be of good use to you. It is a modern fallacy to think that you were made to do "a job".

You were made for much more, and so no job will ever truly satisfy you, no matter how "ministerial" the job description is.

Interestingly, the examples you cited generally have to do with taking steps of faith in doing cool things and things that we don't want to. Who wants to walk around naked? I don't think God has "gifted" me to do that. Who wants to die on a cross?

Sometimes God is straight silent because He wants us to take a step of faith in a direction. And He doesn't drop His kids.

Also, I can speak from experience in that there is tremendous value in doing things that we don't want to do. It builds character...a ministry necessity.