Being sick is never fun. But, missing school and watching movies all day? I was ok with that. My sick day entertainment was on a pretty regular rotation. Price is right. Some talk show that was showcasing talented kids. Shirley Temple Movies. Singing in The Rain. Meet Me In St. Louis.
Judy garland, a fair, Tootie, beautiful costumes, and snow? I love this musical and couldn’t get enough of it as a kid. I wanted a sister and this movie was a family of girls. Judy and the boy next door can’t get on the same page about liking or despising each other. The youngest sister is a ham. The music is so fun! Zing went my Heart Strings, Under The Bamboo Tree, Meet Me in St Louis.
However, as in every story, it isn’t all fun and lighthearted. It’s nearing Christmas and the family is preparing to move. But none of the girls want to move. Judy comes home from an elegant evening and finds Tootie gazing out the window. The littlest sister starts telling all about how Santa is going to bring her toys and she is taking them all with her to New York. This leads to the sad acknowledgement that they won't be able to take the snowmen they built. Trying to comfort herself and her baby sister, Judy sings this haunting Christmas tune. Tootie lets out little sobs as Judy comforts her with the most depressing and haunting Christmas song ever. This song apparently does little to comfort since as the song comes to a close, Tootie races down the stairs and out the door and goes savage on the poor snowmen.
Did you know that “Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas” was written for this movie? My deep appreciation for(*ahem* obsession with) this film helped my Christmas in July team in youth ministry win some major points in trivia.
I have two favorite Christmas songs, O Holy Night and this one.
I think I like them becuase the both aknowlege the ache in Christmas. On one hand there was a weary world that was invaded by hope and yet there are still people in bondage.
On the other hand, there is an heartache of not being with all the ones you love at Christmas. That the chance of being with them again, of things being what they were, what they should be, not being something we control. And yet, we should go on celebrating. In one breath, Judy tells little Tootie to stop worrying because it’s Christmas and yet acknowledges that there is a sadness. It’s tragic. Go watch the movie so you can see how it ends.
For now, here’s the heartbreaking scene for your holiday enjoyment...
Since stores have had Christmas items on the shelves for 5 weeks, I figured it couldn’t hurt to do a special Christmas edition of 31 of 31.So, today and tomorrow, as you read this, I expect you to get in the spirit. Sip on your favorite Christmas drink, break out the pine scented candle, turn the a/c down to 55 (be dedicated to the illusion folks) and curl up under a blanket.
In our house, Christmas, even with it’s many celebratory options, brought many easy and agreeable decisions. Tree? Real. Christmas morning breakfast? Mom’s cinnamon rolls. Open one present on Christmas eve? Absolutely! It also brought it’s fair share of arguments. Whose year was it to put the star on the tree? Who had the Santa door decoration last year? Should the tinsel be placed in OCD fashion with care and stress-inducing particularity or be tossed on the tree is a carefree, childlike, lavish manner throwing caution to the wind and adding sparkle to the tree wher’er it may fall? I may have strong opinions about tinsel.
We would always attempt to decorate the tree together. It usually started out well, but rarely was completed in peace. In our family, we have a tradition where our parents would buy us a new ornament every year. We aren’t the kind of people with an elegant tree that is adorned with a carefully selected color scheme. No, we more of a “this tree tells a story” kind of people. Unpacking ornaments was always one of my favorite moments. Recalling the when and why of the gifted ornaments, looking at the little clay handprint that was made in preschool, sorting through boxes on a search for that one special ornament.
I don’t know when this particular piece of pine-adornment became my favorite...or really why, but now it’s the only favorite I can recall. It was a ball ornament white, with a little snowy scene wrapped around. And it played music. Push the button once and it would light up and play loudly, Sleigh Ride. Push it a second time and the light would pulse with the music. A third would cut off the light and lower the music to the faint melody of a day dream. I doubt the rest of my family found it so enchanting. I would go in a turn it on several times a day. The loudest setting was the most annoying to my brother so I enjoyed that one. But my favorite was the pulsing light. One year I think I even took it off the tree and carried it around the house. When my mom passed on all my ornaments to me a few years ago, she included that one. I love it. Honestly, it may have become my favorite because I loved that it annoyed everyone else. But regardless, even without anyone around to annoy, it’s my favorite.
Let's skip ahead a bit to just after college. I had graduated, finished up an internship, and upon not finding a job completed another internship over summer and had moved home while I searched for a job. It was a frustrating time in my young adult life. I hadn't planned to move back to Houston, and certain hadn't planned to live with my parents after college. And yet, that's where I found myself. It was hard, but looking back, I can say it was the best thing for us all.
However, at the time, I needed some space and I needed to do something. Nashville Star, a reality show that was for all intents and purposes American Idol with a twang, was holding auditions in Austin. I booked a hotel, drove myself up to the capitol, checked in the night before auditions, slept for a fistful of hours, woke up and 3am and walked myself down to auditions through downtown Austin. I met a couple of guys on the way who clearly had been lubricating their vocal chords with some liquid courage in preparation for the audition. I waited in line for hours. I met Katie and we became great friends for those few moments. We even past the time by taking selfies. This is all pre-iphone, mind you.
There was a tornado warning for the area which made things interesting, but eventually we made it inside. From there we were put in groups of 5 or 6 and eventually ushered into a small room with a panel of what I assume were interns or some lower level job...you don't start out in front of the actual judges. You have to work your way to that. One at a time we were to step forward, tell them our name and what song we were singing. We then had 30 seconds to sing. We were allowed to play guitar as well.
I spent weeks deciding what song to sing. The first couple of crooners sang and then it was my turn. I stepped forward and played and sang. The "judges" then asked me to sing it again without the guitar. I paused, maybe too long. I was honestly processing the fact that it had to be a good sign if they wanted to hear it twice. But there was one more girl after me and they kept her. They were only keeping one from each group, if any. A couple of the others from the room encouraged me as we left, assuring me that they should have kept me. I was flattered and wished they had, but the girl they kept was good.
On my way back to the hotel to get my car and head home, one of my new friends from the line journey offered to give me a ride back to my car. Y'all, I don't know what possessed me to get in the car with this guy I'd only known for a few hours and whom was tipsy at 5am, but I did. He told me about his night, which was not like any night I've ever had or want to have, he told me he thought the judges were idiots because clearly he and I both should be on the show, and he dropped me off at my hotel and I haven't seen him, or Katie, since. But for a day, we were buds.
I think about that day often. It was the first risk I think I'd ever taken. It was my first adventure on my own. I was nervous but I loved it. I loved knowing I could go somewhere, I could arrange the details of something like that without my parents. It was small, easy, but it was new to me. I loved spending an entire day with like-minded people, singing, dreaming, sharing stories. I did it all again a couple of years later when I auditioned for The Voice. Both experiences were great but Nashville Star was one of those moments, where you suddenly realize you can do more than you give yourself credit for. The world, as scary as it can be, really isn't that vast.
I don't listen to country much anymore, mostly because country doesn't exist these days (it's all pop). Still, country music provided the soundtrack for so much of my life and this particular memory is accompanied by "Suds in The Bucket" by Sara Evans.
