Brokenness is a terribly, painfully, wonderful, beautful thing. Now, I say that on the fringe of becoming broken. I am not in the middle of brokenness ( at least not as I have known it to feel in the past). I am however about to be broken. I say this with such confidence because of how things are lining up. First, I was asked to speak at a girls' conference about finding satisfaction in Christ. How to speak about that when you don't know how to do that to begin with is extremely humbling. Preparing that lesson was a huge lesson for myself. So that was the tip of the "get ready to be broken" iceberg. Next, I picked up a book that was suggested to me called , "Shattered Dreams". It is wonderfully frightening to pick up a book with that sort of title. I am on chapter 8 and every word I read pierces my heart. The reality that, in order to show us that our deepest dream is knowing Him, The Lord will shatter our other dreams, is not a fun reality. And then there is the Beth Moore bible study. I have gone to the church that host that bible study for all my life and have never once even considered going to the bible study. I love Beth. She is an amazing teacher, but I tend to avoid anything with that much hype. However, before the beginning of this semester, 5 people asked me if I was going to go. Since no one has ever asked me if I was going or not, I felt that the Lord was saying, "Erin, get over yourself, you are not too cool for hype. you need to go." So I am going. She is doing a study called "Breaking Free". Doesn't that sound fun. Breaking....Breaking free....not being free, not becoming free, not flying free....no no....BREAKING.
And alongside all of those terrible, wonderful things, my heart is aching more and more to be in ministry. I am aching for girls in churches that don't have a girls' minister. Girls that, if they get their heart broken or get taken advantage of or are lonely, can't talk to anyone on their youth staff because they are all men. It breaks my heart. And I am seeing doors open for me to walk towards girls ministry, which is super exciting.
So, that, my friends is why I can say so confidently that I am on the fringe of being broken.
And alongside all of those terrible, wonderful things, my heart is aching more and more to be in ministry. I am aching for girls in churches that don't have a girls' minister. Girls that, if they get their heart broken or get taken advantage of or are lonely, can't talk to anyone on their youth staff because they are all men. It breaks my heart. And I am seeing doors open for me to walk towards girls ministry, which is super exciting.
So, that, my friends is why I can say so confidently that I am on the fringe of being broken.
4 comments:
Hey there..I just got your comment on my blog, but I trying to figure out who you are! he he! I have been searching your blog to find out! Write me a comment on my blog! :)
Want to hear more about your girls ministry endeavors!
Oh, Erin, I just love you.
You would be a blessing to any young girls. I love that your heart is not "a job in the ministry" but rather a heart to help hurting young women. That's beautiful.
isn't breaking free amazing?...I meet my sister there and we're doing the study together. first of all, it's been just what we need. we're almost 13 years apart, so we've never done anything like this before. it's grown us closer together like I never thought it could, and it helps us keep each other accountable. plus, she's the only girl in a house with her husband and 3 other little men, she appreciates getting to actually be a girl once a week =].
But when we started the study, and beth kept talking about how we were going to break free from bondage we didn't even know was there, I was, sad to say, a little skeptical to that. I kept thinking..."if i don't even know what the bondage is...how in the world can i break free?"...wow...pride. God knows...of course He knows...and He alone is the source of my freedom! it's nothing I know...nothing I can do...it's ALL Him!
So, I'm glad to see that you're breaking free too!...here's to letting God do what only He can!
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