Before we move to Peter (It’s coming I promise! My goal is next week.) I wanted to introduce you to my friend, Debra. I have talked about wanting to have some other women join this conversation and have been praying about who all to ask. I just wasn’t sure who would want to do this or who would catch the vision. Then I went to Captivated Together this month. We talked about shame. (Yay!). When the lovely ladies on the CT team shared their own struggles at the end of the night, it was clear as could be, I needed to ask Debra to let me interview her for the Choose Me series. So here we have it. The first Choose Me interview. Meet Debra.
(I took this from your FB. :) Hope that's ok.)
E: Tell us a little about yourself.
D: Hello. My name is Debra. Is this already feeling awkward?
Formally speaking, I could be known as a children’s event planner, but I am more commonly called Mom. I married my high school sweetheart whom I call E. Fourteen years later and we now travel with an entourage we affectionately call Parker Party of Six. I definitely have a love for sarcastic words, but to know me is to know that I am completely serious about Jesus and striving to love like he loves.
(Debra is also part of the Captivated Together team and writes a blog)
E: So, have you and do you still struggle with wanting to be chosen?
D: I have struggled with a desire to be chosen. Some days I still do.
E: At what point in your story do you think this desire to be chosen was most obviously affecting your actions?
D: In junior high I tried to become someone I was not. Literally.
I made up a fake life to friends who did not go to my school. For one summer I tried my hand at cussing, kissing, and pretended I owned a set of pom poms. I currently hear my 10 year old son’s Haitian voice saying, “That’s a big fat lie, mom.” I traded lies to feel chosen.
E: Where do you think this desire stems from?
D: Being adopted, or being abused as a child, or watching my family go through financial struggle, all could be, and probably are, factors of my desire to be chosen. I think for most of my young life I simply felt lonely.
E: What would you say to your old self?
D: I would hug that girl and look into her eyes and tell her I am sorry she is hurting. I would tell her how Jesus loves her. I would beg her to find her worth in Him. I would show her stories in His Word, and beg her to look for His love in her everyday.
E: Have you seen this play out in your daughter or girls your work with? How?
D: I have watched many girls struggle through this loud desire to be chosen. I have seen girls forsake themselves, using all manners of pain, for the attempt to be chosen by someone. Thankfully, I have also had the opportunity to look into their eyes and say what I would have said to myself. It is now more intimate as my own daughter is coming of age.
E: What are you doing to steer their desire to be chosen to Christ?
D: I believe that God has blessed me, as a woman, with a keen awareness of my desire for Christ. It is a thirst I seek to quench daily. It is the desire to be chosen. This desire set me on a journey to find the One who could fill my empty place. I struggle every morning to get out of bed early to read the Word. It is reading the truth that daily reminds me, no matter what my circumstances may be, I am chosen.
I try to live my life with enough transparency that girls see they are not alone. I also know that I cannot fill their desire to be chosen. I share my story as a tool to point them to Jesus. It is ministry. I try to love like Jesus when I get up, when I go to sleep, when we laugh, when we meet for coffee, when I tuck her to sleep, and even when I cry.
E: Is there anything else you would say to our readers?
D: Whether you are in a high place or a low place, run to Jesus. Fall asleep talking to Him. In the morning, run to Him again.
There you have it girls. I hope you are encouraged by Debra’s transparency. I know I have been blessed by her in just the short time I have known her (and known who she was before I could actually say I knew her). Take some time today to run to Jesus, just as Debra advised. Let Him speak over you. You are His. He chose you.
Happy Journey!
Erin
E: Tell us a little about yourself.
D: Hello. My name is Debra. Is this already feeling awkward?
Formally speaking, I could be known as a children’s event planner, but I am more commonly called Mom. I married my high school sweetheart whom I call E. Fourteen years later and we now travel with an entourage we affectionately call Parker Party of Six. I definitely have a love for sarcastic words, but to know me is to know that I am completely serious about Jesus and striving to love like he loves.
(Debra is also part of the Captivated Together team and writes a blog)
E: So, have you and do you still struggle with wanting to be chosen?
D: I have struggled with a desire to be chosen. Some days I still do.
E: At what point in your story do you think this desire to be chosen was most obviously affecting your actions?
D: In junior high I tried to become someone I was not. Literally.
I made up a fake life to friends who did not go to my school. For one summer I tried my hand at cussing, kissing, and pretended I owned a set of pom poms. I currently hear my 10 year old son’s Haitian voice saying, “That’s a big fat lie, mom.” I traded lies to feel chosen.
E: Where do you think this desire stems from?
D: Being adopted, or being abused as a child, or watching my family go through financial struggle, all could be, and probably are, factors of my desire to be chosen. I think for most of my young life I simply felt lonely.
E: What would you say to your old self?
D: I would hug that girl and look into her eyes and tell her I am sorry she is hurting. I would tell her how Jesus loves her. I would beg her to find her worth in Him. I would show her stories in His Word, and beg her to look for His love in her everyday.
E: Have you seen this play out in your daughter or girls your work with? How?
D: I have watched many girls struggle through this loud desire to be chosen. I have seen girls forsake themselves, using all manners of pain, for the attempt to be chosen by someone. Thankfully, I have also had the opportunity to look into their eyes and say what I would have said to myself. It is now more intimate as my own daughter is coming of age.
E: What are you doing to steer their desire to be chosen to Christ?
D: I believe that God has blessed me, as a woman, with a keen awareness of my desire for Christ. It is a thirst I seek to quench daily. It is the desire to be chosen. This desire set me on a journey to find the One who could fill my empty place. I struggle every morning to get out of bed early to read the Word. It is reading the truth that daily reminds me, no matter what my circumstances may be, I am chosen.
I try to live my life with enough transparency that girls see they are not alone. I also know that I cannot fill their desire to be chosen. I share my story as a tool to point them to Jesus. It is ministry. I try to love like Jesus when I get up, when I go to sleep, when we laugh, when we meet for coffee, when I tuck her to sleep, and even when I cry.
E: Is there anything else you would say to our readers?
D: Whether you are in a high place or a low place, run to Jesus. Fall asleep talking to Him. In the morning, run to Him again.
There you have it girls. I hope you are encouraged by Debra’s transparency. I know I have been blessed by her in just the short time I have known her (and known who she was before I could actually say I knew her). Take some time today to run to Jesus, just as Debra advised. Let Him speak over you. You are His. He chose you.
Happy Journey!
Erin
2 comments:
I am encouraged by this. Debra speaks beautifully. :-) I am interested to know what about "shame" the CT team talked about...very interested...
I'm to encouraged! It is good to hear from other women who are thirsting after God. Very refreshing also, to see we all struggle--especially girls--to be chosen, to be seen and validated, which we get in Jesus! I love to see that what is echoing in my heart, is also echoing in other hearts as well.
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